Arguing when with someone that is being unreasonable can get to you; especially when you know you’re right. It’s genuinely one of the most annoying things ever. You feel that nothing would soothe your rage and fury more than clearly winning that argument. Debating skills can be helpful in situations other than verbal disputes. They can be highly beneficial in a variety of scenarios. These skills support you in your career, financial negotiations, relationships, and other areas. Knowing how to win any argument — fairly — is a skill you should have.
Here are some dos and don’ts to keep in mind during an argument, to win fairly:
Do’s
1. Maintain your calm.
Even though you are enthusiastic about your position, you must maintain your composure and emotional control. You lose the arguement if you lose your temper. You calm the issue and the other person’s feelings if you do not react forcefully. They have no choice but to come to your level for a debate. As a result, you can explain yourself more clearly.
2. Take your time listening.
Many people are so preoccupied with what they will say that they disregard their opponent and assume his arguments. It is preferable to pay close attention. You will notice flaws and shortcomings in his position and occasionally learn something new and instructive. RELATED: How To Deal With People Who Think You’re Arguing Every Time You Try To Express Yourself
3. Prepare yourself to understand another person’s viewpoint.
You don’t have to agree with a foe to understand his or her point of view. However, if you want to win an argument, you must be able to see the world through the eyes of your opponent. Stepping inside the mind of someone win opposing views allows you to determine where their influence lies. Maybe they’re feeling threatened, anxious, or irritated. Perhaps they know something you don’t. Demonstrating empathy will cool the dispute and allow you to reach an agreement.
4. Ask questions.
You may maintain control of the discussion by asking the right questions — making your opponent scramble for replies. You can refute his position by asking, ‘What evidence do you have for that claim?’ You can pose hypothetical questions to challenge your opponent, such as, ‘What would happen if every nation did that?’ Another excellent question is one that quietly stimulates your opponent, such as ‘What is it about this that makes you so angry?’
5. Apply logic.
Show how one concept leads to another. Make your argument; then, use logic to defeat your opponent. RELATED: 7 Subtle Destructive Things That Happen When You Avoid Awkward Conversations With Your Partner
6. Use facts to back up your point.
Facts are difficult to contradict, so gather relevant data before beginning the debate. Surveys, data, quotes from appropriate persons, and results are all good arguments to support your case.
7. Keep the conflict focused on one issue.
People continually trying to be correct are masters at bringing irrelevant material into every argument. Incidents from years ago, problems that have already been addressed, and their own previous experiences can be used as rapid ammunition in the current attack. Staying ahead of this tendency will save energy, and keep you from rehashing things irrelevant to the present.
8. Prepare to give up an excellent point.
Don’t argue every point just for the pleasure of arguing. If your opponent makes a valid point, agree, but counter with a different argument. This gives you the appearance of being reasonable.
9. Examine your opponent.
Understand their talents and limitations, as well as their views and values. You can use their values to your advantage. You can exploit their flaws by turning their arguments against them. RELATED: 6 Communication Tips The Most Alluring, Charismatic People Know
10. Respect your opponent.
Many arguments have no clear winners. You may win, but your relationship or circumstance suffers. A successful argument inside a relationship is kept separate. Don’t let a disagreement make you doubt the entire foundation of your relationship. Similarly, do not insult or disparage your opponent. Even if the individual is someone you’ll never see again; it’s critical to demonstrate that you meant “nothing personal” in the disagreement.
Don’ts
1. Don’t make it personal.
Avoid directly attacking your opponent’s lifestyle, integrity, or honesty. Attack the problem, rather than the person. If the opposing party attacks you, always take the moral high ground. For example, tell them: ‘I am startled by your personal assaults. It would be better if we focused on the underlying issue rather than maligning individuals.’
2. Don’t resort to yelling.
You must manage your voice because the volume of the discourse corresponds to the emotional intensity of the conversation. Alleviate the situation by answering calmly, even if the other person is yelling. The quieter you are, the more direct your remarks can be.
3. Don’t become defensive.
The first thing that happens when you become defensive is that you try to deflect the allegations levelled at you. What matters in an argument is not who is correct but that the opposing party feels heard. If they don’t feel heard, they’ll become even more stubborn, and you won’t be able to address the matter. You’ll just be reacting emotionally, and you’ll never make any progress together. RELATED: 5 Personality Types That Cause The Most Conflict In Relationships
4. Don’t play the blame game.
It is totally natural to feel compelled to place blame when someone is inciting conflict. Doing so makes it difficult to resolve anything and move ahead. Unfortunately, neither party benefits from this reaction, likely increasing discord. Blaming magnifies problems; however, accepting responsibility for your actions might help address them.
5. Don’t provoke them.
If you start out swinging, the other person will put up their defenses, making it much more challenging to persuade them of your point of view. Instead, attempt to strike up a friendly chat. Before going into the core of the dispute, make a small conversation.
6. Don’t be too emotional.
Take a step back and attempt to cool down if you notice yourself becoming upset during the dispute. Getting angry or irritated will encourage the other person to dig their heels in even deeper. If you lose your cool, they will undoubtedly perceive you as illogical and unreasonable, making it much more difficult to win them over.
7. Don’t use foul language.
Be particular and purposeful about not cursing anytime you are in a disagreement. Cussing raises the energy and emotion of the fight, which is precisely what you want to avoid. Arguments are unavoidable when people live and work together. We all think and feel differently. Therefore it’s inevitable that our perspectives on things may differ. This frequently leads to disagreements, which leads to arguments. If you believe you are partially correct, you should do everything possible to win any dispute. Your argument skills will gradually grow like any other talent, and you will find it much simpler to win people over. RELATED: How To Communicate Clearly & Directly (Without Coming Off As Rude) Sidhharrth Kumaar is an astro-numerologist and founder of NumroVani. He couples his knowledge in occult and modern sciences together to solve real-world problems in the areas of mental well-being and relationship growth.
